Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
This is my first rondeau Lover's Lane (3rd revision)Along our path through Rowan treesred roses twine with memories --when spring gave birth to love it turnedto summer blooms and passions burned.You...
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Nothing wrong with slants anyway. But if you've got some indication that it can be pronounced either way, I say leave it.
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Hi Kathy2nd revision on view now -- would appreciate your thoughts.ThanksSnow
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Let me think on it a while. Can you post your original? Ta. K
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Thanks KathyThe original is under the first revision.Snow
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
I will get back to your poem, Snow. I think I have blunted my edge on it at this stage. I tend to prefer to your original right now!
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Thanks Cathy -- I think I've got a cold coming and my edge certainly feels blunt he he! This one's going on the back burner, until I can face it again.You have already been a tremendous help.Snow
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
I have just read it again with new eyes, and it flows well to my ear, ie nothing hackneed. Except, (sorry, there is an except) the last line before the refrain. -urk- It is still not right. Let's have...
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
What about 'ease'??? Or 'unease'?Then winter spread its dampening freezeabandoning desires to please,and inexplicably you spurnedthat fire you lit in me; Ive yearnedtoo long and come here to...
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Oh Kathy -- you are being so much help to me on this one.Yes, 'appease' was the one word, deep down, I knew didn't fit! I think I just needed someone to say that! LOL! I do quite miss 'tease'...
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Hi KathyI'm getting over my cold now and feeling clearer in my head. I've tweaked the ending of this and decided to go with tease.Thanks again for talking me through the lines.Snow
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Oh the poem's on the other page, so I can't see your review. Will go look-see soon.Hey! How about you being on the other board and us chatting away and not knowing!
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Lover's Lane (2nd revision)I walk our path through Rowan treeswhere roses twine with memories,when spring gave birth to love that turnedto summer blooms and passions burned.You romanced me with...
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Hi KathyQuote:Hey! How about you being on the other board and us chatting away and not knowing!Tee hee! it's a small world!Thanks for pointing the missing 'a'. I think this is done now!Snow
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Hi, Snow...yeah, it is a bit quiet...guess we need to shake things up a bit! Ref "reprise", in British English is usually pronounced RE-PREEZE, so as long as you are on this side of the pond, you are...
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Hi soulseaseNice to see you call back, before I put this in my finished drawer ( if ever! ha ha!)Yes -- I'm this side of the pond and pronounce it 'repreeze' I have found quite a good online...
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Here we are, still here, nibbling away at this. I like 'expertise,' specifically because it IS cold. The poet realises that he was unfeeling, in fact. I like that cool analysis.'Dampening freeze' does...
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Hi Kathy -- hee hee! here we are again! I'd nearly put this one away, but I daresay I'd get it out again next year. I tend to write some poems lots of different ways, before I decide --that's it!I...
View ArticleRe: Lover's Lane ~ rondeau -- revision 3
Dear Rhapsody, My comments should not be taken by those on a salt-free diet. I am admittedly a maverick in my taste for poetry. However, I might offer you another perspective. Each of us has his own...
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